Forget above giving us a wedding gift! Help me instead!

We’ve all heard the stories of wedding couples who have thrown lavish weddings on a budget. How do they do it? Well it’s partly due to clever budgeting and thinking outside the square, yet another big contributing factor is the help they receive from family and friends. Rather than having family and friends buy you wedding gifts, ask them for wedding help instead!

Where do I begin?
You will need 2 lists. In the first list write down all your family and friends who you could approach, and feel comfortable approaching, for help. You might want to jot down anything obvious that they could provide help with for example catering or flowers.

In the second list, write down everything that you need for your wedding. This includes practical items such as tables and chairs, and extends to services like florists.

Now, go through this list and see if there are any obvious matches. You might see that your Uncle Henry owns a vintage car that you could perhaps borrow for your wedding transport. You might also remember that your cousin Lillian is a hairdresser and could possible style your hair for your wedding.

How do I ask for wedding help?
Asking for help can be daunting. Generally the best way to ask your family and friends for help is with honesty, appreciation..and let’s face it a little flattery. Let me explain. Your friend Tom is a great photographer and would make a perfect wedding photographer. When asking if he could help you with your official wedding photography, don’t lead with something along the lines of you and your partner wanting to cut as many corners as you can with scrimping and saving and you remembered that he’s a photographer, which could save you a lot of money. That approach can devalue your friends work. Rather try to phrase it a way that shows that yes you are planning a wedding on a budget, but you are also very fond of Toms work and would genuinely be thrilled if he would consider perhaps being your official wedding photographer if his schedule allows.

Things to Consider

Don’t assume that your family and friend will want to offer you their services. Make sure that they know that it’s okay to say no without their decision having an effect on your friendship.

Ensure that your family and friends know that you consider their contribution as a gift.

Be aware of the financial cost associated with your family and friend’s contribution and consider offering part of the cost. For example, if your Aunty May is baking your wedding cake, offer to pay for the costs of the ingredients. Offering to pay for associated costs would be appreciate and will save you considerably, especially as labour is free.

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