Don’t Let Your Guests Know That They Are on the ‘B’ List

by Daily Wedding Blog
Filed under guest list

One of my wedding guests just found out that they were on my ‘B’ wedding guest list and has just told me that they won’t be coming to my wedding afterall!

A bride to be came whimpering that to me a few years ago and to be honest, I didn’t feel sorry for her. She left it three weeks before the wedding to invite this guest. Bear in mind that the invitations had been sent six months prior. This ‘b’ list guest, was loosely in the same social circles as the other ‘a’ list guests, and she had found out and was quite hurt at being an afterthought guest.

The truth is, whenever you are planning a wedding you will likely have two guest lists.

Wedding Guest List A: This list is reserved for close family and friends who you would dream of not having at your wedding.
Wedding Guest List B: This list is reserved for relatives, friends and co-workers who as much as you would to have them at your wedding, your finances won’t stretch that far.

The number of people in the guest list ‘A’ category is determined by the amount of people that the reception and ceremony venue will hold combined with the number of guests that the wedding budget allows.

Whilst there are no foolproof ways to ensure that your guests don’t find out that they are ‘b’ list guests, there are ways to minimise the chances of this happening. As soon as you receive an RSVP invitation decline, send off an invitation to a B list guest right away. You want to try to reduce the time between sending A list and B list invites.

After you have sent out the A list invitations put out the feelers when you run into these guests to get an idea of whether or not they will be attending your wedding. They may tell you on the spot that they can’t attend due to prior commitments, so that way you can forward a ‘b’ list invite before you get their official RSVP.

There may also be some people on your ‘A’ list that you have a suspicion won’t be able to attend anyway such as interstaters, who you still want to invite, so that they don’t feel left out. If you don’t receive an RSVP from them in a week or so, call them up for a general chat and find out where they stand on your wedding attendance.

You will find that many people have a tendency to procrastinate and won’t RSVP till the last minute. You want to try and avoid this as much as possible, so that you can send out ‘B’ guest list invites as soon as possible. Try to include something like; ‘Your prompt RSVP is appreciated to help us in our wedding planning.’ on your wedding invitations. When your bridal party is asked how the wedding planning is going from fellow guests, let them know that it is okay to subtly spread the word that you are waiting for RSVP’s before you can get into full-blown planning.

As long as you always remain tactful in dealing with your guest list and do not procrastinate when sending out invitations from your secondary guest list, you can remain confident that you have done all you can to avoid hurt feelings.

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