Can I invite guests to just my bridal shower and not the wedding?
by Daily Wedding Blog
Filed under Etiquette, featured, Features, guest list, You might be interested in....
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stumbleupon Discussing wedding planning today with a newly engaged woman, she asked me if It would be considered rude to invite her co-workers to her bridal shower, but not to the actual wedding. Her justification was that she didn’t consider herself close enough to her co-workers to merit an invitation, however she felt obliged somehow that she needed them to still have a small part in the wedding.
Her intentions may have been good, but her co-workers will read into this that they are not good enough for the wedding and are only good enough for a bridal shower that will require them to bring gifts. Needless to say this will create work tension later on. It is considered bad form to invite guests to a bridal party and NOT the wedding and doing this will undoubtedly cause tension.
If you are adamant on having people at your bridal shower and not your wedding ensure that you are tactful. You can state on the invitation that the wedding is very small and limited to just family, however a bridal shower will give you the opportunity to celebrate with friends.
Some may debate that it is your wedding and you can do what you like, and sure there is truth in this, however some brides use this as an excuse to quite simply practise poor manners. You don’t have to invite all your family, friends and co-workers to your wedding, but you must be tactful and fair.
In the case of this newly engaged woman that inspired this post, she has decided to hold a small pre-wedding brunch with her co-workers and some casual friends and limit the wedding to just family and close childhood friends. She will explain to them that coming from a large family the guest list will be taken up by obligatory invitations of aunts, uncles and cousins (about 45 just on her side) and this brunch will be an opportunity for her to celebrate with her co-workers.
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I agree. I was once invited to just the engagement party and not the wedding. What a cheapskate! When it comes to planning my guest list I won’t be so mean lol
I believe it depends on what kind of Bridal Shower you are having. If you’re having a traditional Kitchen Tea where gifts for the bride are expected then maybe you should reconsider your guest list, but if you are having a Hens Night then I don’t see that as a problem. Traditionally a Hens Night is for you to go out and celebrate with your friends, no presents required. Your Engagement Party is a whole other story, but as far as a Hens Night goes, I think it’s nice to invite friends/acquaintances that you wouldn’t invite to your wedding. It’s a chance for them to help you celebrate and I seriously doubt that your work mates would expect a wedding invitation. A wedding is such an expensive time and sometimes you just simply can’t afford to invite everyone you know but that doesn’t mean you can’t involve them in other ways.
Enjoy your Hens Night!